Tony Gwynn, 1994 Fleer Pro-Vision (Stoner Fleer Pro-Vision Week No. 3)

Name: Tony Gwynn
Team: San Diego Padres
Position: Outfield
Value of card: Three tabs of acid (hence what you're seeing)
Key 1993 stat: One long, strange trip
10 mixed messages one could interpret from this card:
10) Once you make the Hall of Fame, you're whisked away to a hallucinogenic wonderland.
9) Gwynn's head is so big it has its own orbiting satellites.
8) San Diego is full of bright-orange skies, boats, palm trees and a giant net that for no explainable reason covers part of the night sky.
7) Gwynn is a wizard ... make that a priest ... make that a pinstriped Jedi.
6) If that's a halo formed by baseballs, there's a certain team in Anaheim that should have a Hall of Famer on its roster.
5) Gwynn believed in religion, but not as much as he believed in mock turtlenecks.
4) Baseball's rules, regulations, sayings and secrets are kept in a bible — a blank one
3) Gwynn was the first gay-rights-promoting baseball player.
2) Fleer made ugly batting gloves.
1) Drugs can get you a job painting pictures for baseball cards.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, this is freaking awesome. How have I never seen this card before? I need to have this blown up and framed in my living room.

    Or maybe just blown up.