Thomas Bohrer, 1992 U.S. OlympiCards (Summer Olympics Special No. 9)

Name: Thomas Bohrer
Event: Rowing
Medal count: 2 silver
Value of card: Wet garbage
Key 1992 stat: 147,198 times stroked
Here's what Thomas Bohrer stands for:

Thorough knowledge of the backne on the guy in front of him
Handled a long, wooden shaft with skill and grace
Oiled-up legs distracted the competition
Manly enough to wear a scarf to a race
Appears to be making fart noises with his mouth
Silver medals? This is America. If you're not first, you're a communist.

Bohrer: That's what the ladies said he was in the sack, all right.
Of course, judging from that scarf, maybe that's because he wasn't interested in the ladies
Humorous event name of the day: coxless fours
Rocked the mini-mullet in Barcelona. Classy.
Even he snickered every time somebody said, "Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!"
Really, we're just jealous of his biceps

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