Glenn Williams, 1994 Upper Deck International Flavor

Name: Glenn Williams
Teams: Atlanta Braves, Team Canberra
Position: Third base
Value of card: In Australian dollars, still nothing
Key 1993 stat: Constantly astounded at how the toilets swirl the other way here
The Bust cookbook: Here's how to create your own Glenn Williams international flavor.

1 lb. kangaroo tongue
3 tbsp. grated wristband
2 n's
4 oz. shaved dramatic eyebrow
1 1/2 cups sweat from a baseball uniform worn in the Atlanta July humidity
1 oz. Nutella
1 bat doughnut

Overpay for all ingredients, then combine them in a pine tar-stained catcher's mitt and stir with your hands for 3 minutes. Simmer in a greasy pot over medium-high heat 15 minutes or until fetid. Then cut your losses and send it to Minnesota. The dish will never be hot; you'll know it's done when it's bitter and disappointing.

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