8.13.2012

Alvaro Espinoza, 1990 Bowman


Name: Alvaro Espinoza
Team: New York Yankees
Position: Shortstop
Value of card: Three used toothpicks
Key 1989 stat: Zero manly swings taken
What does Alvaro Espinoza stand for?

Alarming amount of sky in this photo
Leftover pork rinds still in mustache
Verbatim statement from hitting instructor: "You look like a midwife holding a mop handle"
Athletic stance? Try the opposite
Rims around glasses holding together windshields
Outstanding decision to choose this photo for the card set

Eyebrow mustache looks pretty good ...
Slithering over his face like a caterpillar
Pockmarks on jersey resemble pockmarks on face
Itsy-bitsy bat is adorable
Never was one to pose gracefully
Only .206 hitter to wear batting gloves and wristbands
Zebra stripes on uniform are quite slimming
Altostratus clouds are the only redeeming quality of this card

Card submitted by Omar Zazueta
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