7.08.2012

Will Clark, Rafael Palmerio, 1989 Fleer Superstars


Names: Will Clark and Rafael Palmeiro
Teams: San Francisco Giants and Chicago Cubs
Positions: First base and outfield
Value of card: Half the food in Palmeiro's mustache
Key 1988 stat: Zero congressional hearings
Two players, one Bust cup: It's time for an All-Star Matchup!

Round 1: Refusal to shave face or space between eyebrows that day (Winner: Clark)
Round 2: $5 mesh jersey with a giant Cubs sticker on it (Winner: Palmeiro)
Round 3: Mustache resembling a Rorschach inkblot (Winner: Palmeiro)
Round 4: Later shared a locker room with Barry Bonds (Winner: Clark)
Round 5: Later shared "supplements" with Barry Bonds (Winner: Palmeiro)
Round 6: Getting a bigger kick out of touching chests in this photo (Winner: Clark)
Round 7: Luxurious, dark-as-midnight mullet (Winner: Palmeiro)
Round 8: Wearing a T-shirt that's been washed 13,966 times (Winner: Clark)
Round 9: Looks better in a suit (Winner: Palmeiro)

Final score: Palmeiro 5, Clark 4

Synopsis: No lies here, folks     Rafael Palmeiro has tested positive for victory. Will Clark will have to take solace in the fact that at least he's not one of baseball's all-time scumbags.


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