7.27.2012

Joe Montana, 1989 Living Legend (Football Friday No. 130)


Name: Joe Montana
Team: San Francisco 49ers
Position: Greatest quarterback of all time
Value of card: Phlegm caught inside a mouth guard
Key 1988 stat: 816 passes completed with pinky sticking out like he was at an English tea party
Let's put our hands together: Now this is something else. What an accomplishment. C'mon people, let us join together and salute the fine folks at ... uh ... uh ... there's not even a company listed on this god-foresaken card. It says "Living Legend" in comic sans on the back, which might somehow be a step up from the front, but it doesn't list the fourth-graders responsible for unleashing such a fit of failure upon the masses. The nameplate looks like it was typed on a 1986 label-maker. And the border is blue. Blue! This was, no doubt, a one-card set. Didn't these geniuses think that red or gold would be a better choice? Oh, sorry. They must have been too busy not putting any effort into a "Living Legend" that was dead on delivery.
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