6.19.2012

Mike Rossiter, 1992 Topps Draft Pick


Name: Mike Rossiter
Team: Oakland A's
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: Seven dried, crumbling leaves from the tree behind Rossiter
Key 1991 stat: 22 shades of pastel
Oakland A's scouting report on first-round pick Mike Rossiter: "Major league? Well, he has a major-league wave. ... If he doesn't work out pitching on a mound, maybe we can have him plant a tree on one. ... On the plus side, he already has our alternative jersey for stab-out-your-eyes-with-a-rusty-screwdriver night. ... We've determined that the second chin jutting out from his regular chin will shift his weight, thus adding velocity to his fastball. ... We drafted this kid purely based on his spread in the 1991 Sears Christmas Catalog. Smart. ... Upside: smoothest forearms in his graduating class. ... We're going to need to pound him in the side of the head a few times to set his eyes straight. ... Big-league arm? We might be 'barking' up the wrong tree."
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