Jimmy Key, 1988 Fleer Superstars

Name: Jimmy Key
Team: Toronto Blue Jays
Positions: Pitcher, squatting
Value of card: Imminent doom
Key 1987 stat: 7-pound bulge
North-of-the-border quiz time: Who's the real superstar on this card?

A) Jimmy Key's puberty mustache
B) Jimmy Key's "I think I just pooped" face
C) Jimmy Key's bow-leg-inducing bulge
D) Jimmy Key's monotone powder blue uniform
E) The Bust Trophy. We're No. 1! We're No. 1!

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