5.22.2012

Tim "Rock" Raines, 1990 Bowman


Name: Rock Raines
Team: Montreal Expos
Position: Outfield
Value of card: 1 "toonie" (in Canadian commonspeak, a $2 coin, probably with a duck on it)
Key 1989 stat: 14 words of French spoken
It's time for a north-of-the-border pop quiz:

How did Tim Raines get the nickname "Rock," as enshrined on his obnoxious necklace?

(A) Actually, he bought the necklace first and the nickname followed.
(B) Cocaine is a helluva drug.
(C) He spent his off seasons playing bass for underground Montreal heavy-metal band Les Mustachios.
(D) He conceived a Hollywood script about the existential rebirth of a grisly convict whose seminal yet concealed accomplishment of breaking out of Alcatraz in the waters of San Francisco Bay would only be eclipsed by his success, with the help of Nicolas Cage (played seemingly without effort by Nicolas Cage), in a mission to save the world from nuclear warfare brought on by a renegade general and his team of mercenaries who have overtaken a national park in the waters of San Francisco Bay in their quest to obtain a $100 million ransom in the names of fallen comrades who died in covert operations throughout the world.
(E) All of the above.
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