Jon Matlack, 1973 Topps

Name: Jon Matlack
Team: New York Mets
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: One episode of "Matlock" on VHS (last five minutes erased)
Key 1972 stat: One crap given
The Caption returns: This photo and caption ran in a New York-area sports publication circa 1972 (as far as you know):

"Mets pitcher Jon Matlack wears skin-tight long sleeves while pretending so hard to throw a fastball that last night's plate of brisket comes out the emergency chute in one piece and lands on the grass several feet behind him. Matlack and his train engineer's hat were not injured in the incident, but the Mets are in the process of replacing their field's sod."

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