5.24.2012

George Brett, 1990 Post First Collector Series


Name: George Brett
Team: Kansas City Royals
Potsition: First base
Value of card: Ten shots of tequila, regurgitated
Key 1989 stat: Patchy stubble
George Brett's train of thought, 11:02 to 11:04 a.m., March 7, 1990: "Damn these Florida beaches and their enticing blend of tequila and samba. ... Wait, today's baseball card photo day? Crap, I'm sweating like Cecil Fielder in a sauna. I didn't shave, I haven't showered in three days and I'm so hungover right now, the sky looks purple. ... Phew, it's only the crappy insert cards they're shooting today. Nobody will ever see these and distribute them on a poorly written and produced electronic medium two decades from now. ...  Hey, if these guys are going to smudge out the logo on my hat, maybe they can get rid of the bags under my eyes and the dried puke on my collar. Maybe I won't look like America's swarthiest man, after all!"
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