5.12.2012

Andy Benes, 1991 Studio (Studio Saturday No. 54)


Name: Andy Benes
Team: San Diego Padres
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: A fish taco wrapper
Key 1990 stat: Slow to anger
Conversation between Studio photographer and Andy Benes, Feb. 22, 1991:
Studio photog: "OK, Mr. Benes, I was you to look angry now. Give the camera your meanest look."
Andy Benes: "Angry? Dude, I live in San Diego and make a living playing baseball. It's pretty hard for me to get mad."
SP: "Just give it a shot."
AB: "OK, here goes." (smiles into camera) "How is that?"
SP: "Umm, that's not really what I was looking for. Here, what happens if we do a little role playing? For instance, let's say I'm the opposing batter. How do you feel about me?"
AB: (Smiles into camera) "Whatever, you're probably not going to get a hit, and even if you do, who cares? San Diego rules! It's sunny and warm almost all year, and there are fresh fish tacos everywhere."
SP: "OK, I'm the ump and I've just thrown you out of the game and called your mother a prostitute."
AB: (Still smiling) "Sweet, fish taco time starts early! And everyone knows my mom's a saint."
SP: "An abusive cop? A scuzzball politician? Hitler? Nothing?! Hmm, wait a minute. Let's say I'm the barber, and I have orders to trim up that fine mullet you're growing back there?"
AB: (Smile falls off face) "What did you say? Look, mister, you take your unholy blades and get the hell out of San Diego, you butcher! Damn your eyes!"
SP: "Perfect, thanks!"
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