5.14.2012

Adam Piatt, 2001 Upper Deck


Name: Adam Piatt
Team: Oakland A's
Positions: Outfield, on ground
Value of card: It's not worth the dirt Piatt is sleeping on
Key 2000 stat: 42 green belts in wardrobe
Here's what Adam Piatt stands lies for:

Anyone sure this faceless wonder is Piatt?
Designated hitter? More of a designated sleeper
Athletics? That apparently doesn't apply to Piatt
Mizuno wristbands, batting gloves, shoes, underwear, jockstrap, etc.

Players mocked Piatt for his insistence on all-white outfits
In the middle of this card is a bulge; nice work, Upper Deck
Awkward slides become awkward baseball cards
Tagged out by getting stomped on is humiliating
Throwing your arms up like an 8-year-old girl when you're stomped on is more humiliating
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