Kal Daniels, 1988 Donruss Diamond Kings (Dreadful Diamond Kings Week No. 4)

Name: Kal Daniels
Team: Cincinnati Reds
Position: Outfield
Value of card: Unreasonable anger
Key 1987 stat: One flash in the pan
It's a mystery: Look, we know what you're thinking. Who the heck is Kal Daniels, and why are laser beams shooting out the back of his neck? So, we did some research, and while we still don't know much about Mr. Daniels' exploits as a baseball player — other than that he apparently was not happy to be selected for the Diamond King set — we believe we know why his neck is spraying beams of light everywhere. The only explanation is that Kal Daniels was actually a cyborg from the future, where he was called K.A.L. 3000. The acronym stands for Kill Aggressors with Lasers, and his primary duty was to use his lethal spine to protect the Space Pope from would-be assassins. No other answer makes any sense.

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