Paul Kilgus, 1988 Donruss

Name: Paul Kilgus
Team: Texas Rangers
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: 10 percent off at Stinky Pete's Novelty Shop
Key 1987 stat: Wore a mop on top of head
Fun facts about Paul Kilgus and his obviously fake mustache:

• Paul Kilgus' ERA in 1987 was 4.13. His mustache retailed for less than half of that.
• Kilgus' career winning percentage was 38.2%. An even smaller percentage of people thought that lipwarmer was real.
• Kilgus had enough curly blond hair to clothe half of Eastern Europe. Yet his mustache was made of polyester.
• According to The Beatles, Paul was the Walrus. Paul Kilgus tried much too hard to look like a walrus.
• The name "Paul Kilgus" sounds kind of gross. And then you see his mustache.

Paul Kilgus, 1988 Donruss