3.25.2012

John Valentin, 1994 Upper Deck


Name: John Valentin
Team: Boston Red Sox
Position: Infield
Value of card: Chop it up and we'll weigh it again
Key 1993 stat: 14 8-balls sniffed
It's time for a (sniff, sniff) high-end pop quiz:

Would you attend one of John Valentin's coke parties?

(A) Yes, I love breathing in massive clouds of nose candy.
(B) No, I prefer to party with the 1986 Mets.
(C) No, I don't do drugs and I don't like when Valentin tries to use The Force when on drugs.
(D) I'm not sure (sniff), I just got back from (sniff) Valentin's. I can't (sniff) taste my tongue (sniff).
(E) I'd prefer not to answer this question; I'm high as crap off Valium.
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