3.24.2012

Gregg Jefferies, 1991 Studio (Studio Saturday No. 49)


Name: Gregg Jefferies
Team: New York Mets
Position: Second base
Value of card: The height of early 1990s fashion (so, nothing good)
Key 1990 stat: More G's than any human could possibly need
Gregg Jefferies' dating profile, circa 1991:

Screen name: TripleG2K
Age: I'm in my prime
Height: 5'11" (6'3" when my hair reaches its full potential)
Weight: 175 agile pounds
Hair color: Baby brown
Hairstyle: Tall, dark and handsome
Ethnicity: New Yorker
Marital status: Playing the field
Best feature: Real leather jacket
Smoke? I'm smokin', all right
Drink? Hell, I'm drunk right now

Seeking: Queens
Location: Aw crap, I meant to put "Queens" on this line
Her body type: Body, schmody; let's talk about hair
Her religious views: Anything but the one that worships cows       I don't think they'd like my stylish jacket too much.

About me: Hey there, girls, you may know me as the star second baseman for your New York Mets, but I'm much more than an athlete       I'm also one good-looking dude. My sick hairdo lets me know when it's raining minutes before anyone else realizes it, and my smokin' leather Mets jacket will keep us both warm. Did I mention it's real leather? Go ahead, give it a smell. Oh, one other thing you should know: that third G in my first name? It stands for G-spot finder. Ohhhh yeah. Ring me up, ladies, and let's trade everything from hair stylists' phone numbers to bodily fluids.
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