Dmitri Young, 2000 Pacific

Name: Dmitri Young
Team: Cincinnati Reds
Position: Outfield
Value of card: It's not worth the hair his beard is dyed on
Key 1999 stat: 212 hours in the salon
10 reasons Dmitri Young's beard is white:
10) His teammates chiefed him after a drunken night at the Northside Tavern in Cincinnati.
9) Forget his beard; you should see his turquoise hair.
8) He's emulating the Russian bodybuilder for whom he's named.
7) He knew about the registered trademark symbol included by Pacific on its 2000 set's cards and wanted to present something unique, because the design certainly doesn't come through.
6) He was a spokesman for Just for Men's Blonde Ambition line.
5) He's a colorful guy: black dude, Reds team, white beard.
4) It's a complex glare-reduction system enacted in tandem with his eye black.
3) That's not a beard; it's the leftover bacon gravy from last night's postgame spread.
2) He's drawing attention away from his statistics.
1) He was looking for some white power.

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