Jeremy Hernandez, 1992 Upper Deck

Name: Jeremy Hernandez
Team: San Diego Padres
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: Not nearly enough to buy property in San Diego
Key 1991 stat: 270 curls in mullet
Jeremy Hernandez's train of thought from 3:13 to 3:15 p.m., Feb. 22, 1992: "All right, Upper Deck photo shoot. Let's do this. ... This photographer seems like kind of an a-hole. ... Hey, it's not a mullet! I just haven't had time to get to the barber this year. ... Who is this guy, making fun of my mustache? Sir, I'll have you know I spent all week growing this thing. ... Yeah, actually, this is the most expensive chain I could afford. ... You know what, buddy? If I had grown up with your mother, I wouldn't think much of my chest hair, either. ... That's it. Let's see how funny you think I am after I sneak the Old Number F-U outside the glove for this next shot. Jerk."

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