Gary Alexander, 1982 Topps

Name: Gary Alexander
Team: Pittsburgh Pirates
Position: Catcher
Value of card: A Pirate's booty (not the kind you want)
Key 1981 stat: 2-inch hat brim
It's time for another dose of The Caption, which we're told ran in a Pittsburgh-area newspaper in 1982: "Gary Alexander, a catcher with two first names, stares, ever so passionately, at his Pittsburgh Pirates teammates warming up in their tight baseball pants and hats with the tiniest of tiny brims Wednesday in the Steel City as his afro juice drips down his neck and he ducks out of the way of a child's signature hurdling through the air."

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