2.14.2012

Bobby Valentine, 1980 Topps (Valentine's Day Special)


Name: Bobby Valentine
Team: Seattle Mariners
Position: Infield, outfield, manager, bus boy
Value of card: Seven teeth (still bloody)
Key 1979 stat: One lovey-dovey last name
It's Valentine's Day; 10 things Bobby Valentine does on his day:
10) Sits in front of a mirror and brushes his hair for two hours.
9) Blinds children with his teeth.
8) Writes love poems on valentines to women he'll never approach.
7) Draws hearts in places that underwear covers.
6) Studies hard for a second career in managing — a fast-food seafood restaurant.
5) Kisses the girl he loves (causing her to wake up, scream and report a breaking-and-entering).
4) Signs his name over and over again, until the B in his first name looks like boobs.
3) Buys flowers and chocolate. Eats both.
2) Makes up ridiculous names. His newest: Bobby Kwanzaa.
1) Loves himself (huh-huh).
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