Tim Lollar, 1982 Topps

Name: Tim Lollar
Team: San Diego Padres
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: 1 lollar
Key 1981 stat: Three E's in last name (according to the child's handwriting above)
What can you buy for a "lollar"?
10) A jersey not consisting of three shades of barf
9) A legible signature
8) A dentist-endorsed mouth-closing device
7) A decent haircut
6) A card that doesn't have a production error smudge above the player's hat
5) An alien, not just a guy who looks like an alien
4) "Hold on, I'm thinking deeply about your question while staring at the horizon."
3) A hat that wasn't fished from the toilet.
2) A photo shot by a professional
1) This card, with 99 cents' change

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