1.03.2012

Howard Johnson, 1992 Upper Deck Team Checklist


Name: Howard "HoJo" Johnson
Team: New York Mets
Position: Third base
Value of card: Six rotting apple cores (big ones)
Key 1991 stats: 15 hoes, 1 HoJo
10 "Mets Magic" tricks performed by The Amazing HoJo:
10) He pulled a dead Mr. Met out of a hat.
9) He turned string into an obnoxious gold chain.
8) He sawed Dwight Gooden's cocaine line in half.
7) He made incredible puns out of New York City and a large piece of fruit.
6) He levitated. Well, only in the eyes of Darryl Strawberry, who was really, really high.
5) He vanished down the stretch.
4) He bent a spoon with his mind (and a pair of pliers).
3) He changed himself into comical illustration and started growing bulges out of his neck.
2) He grew a beard. (C'mon, it's a pretty good-looking beard.)
1) He made Mets wins disappear.
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