12.28.2011

Victor Madrigal, 1991 Classic Best


Name: Victor Madrigal
Team: Gastonia (Gastonia?) Rangers
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: Two shots of warm Captain Morgan rum
Key 1990 stat: Two shots of warm Captain Morgan rum, regurgitated
Rangers' scouting report on pitching prospect Victor Madrigal: "This guy is throwing in Gastonia. Wait, Gastonia? Where the hell is Gastonia? ... Madrigal has been included in the Classic Best set. Well, "best" is subjective, obviously. ... First name is 'Victor'; pitches like 'Victoria.' ... If he can throw faster than 75 miles per hour with those sleeves' drag on his arm speed, we need to get this guy in the big show in a real uniform. ... He's pitching in the SAL league, according to the patch on his arm. In the SAL, the competition consists of a bunch of fat guys with mustaches who wear wifebeaters on the field and eat subs. Yes, they're all named 'Sal.' ... With this guy's skill set, if we bring him up to the big leagues we can expect the same kind of attendance as we're looking at here."
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