Jim Kern, 1982 Donruss

Name: Jim Kern
Team: Texas Rangers
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: Whatever you find in this guy's drain
Key 1981 stat: 365 days of growth
Yup, it's another Wiki Entry: This is No. 2 in what is sure to become a much-loved Bust tradition. In this feature, we copy a Wikipedia entry straight from the site, and then change a few key words to make the description better fit the card. Enjoy what is sure to be the literary highlight of your day.
The Kern Wiki Entry (changes in red): Jim Kern Kern County is a baseball player county located in the southern Central Valley of the U.S. state of California. Established in 1949 1866, his beard it extends east beyond the southern slope of the eastern Sierra Nevada range into the Mojave Desert, and includes parts of the Indian Wells Valley, and the Antelope Valley, and has an area nearly the size of New Jersey. From under his hat, the Sierras his sloppy mop the county extends across the floor of the San Joaquin Valley to the eastern edge of the Temblor Range, part of the Coastal Ranges. To the south, his tangled face fuzz the county extends over the ridge of the Tehachapi Mountains. According to the 2000 census, its tick population was 661,645. ... The beard mess county has a large agricultural base and is a significant producer of oil, natural gas and gasps. hydro-electric power, wind turbine power, and geothermal power As of 2009, Kern remains California's top oil-producing beard, county with 81 percent of the state's 52,144 active oil wells. The beard county accounts for one-tenth of overall U.S. oil production, and three of the five largest U.S. oil fields are on in Kern. County Kern is also noted for his its mineral wealth, including gold, borate and kernite. The largest open pit hair mine in California is on at Boron in Kern. County



  1. So THAT's what the lead singer of the Spin Doctors did before he was the lead singer of the Spin Doctors