Britt Burns, 1982 Topps

Name: Britt Burns
Team: Chicago White Sox
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: 7 acres of lapel
Key 1981 stat: Zero hygiene
Top 10 offensive things about this card:

10) Mixing a giant felt collar with a mesh jersey
9) The scruff on Burns' face
8) The fact that we're supposed to believe his name was "Britt Burns"
7) Britt's 'burns. Sideburns, that is.
6) Green and purple on a White Sox card
5) That open-mouth gaze
4) The effeminate autograph
3) The plunging neckline
2) The popped blood vessels on his nose and cheeks. Have another one, you lush.
1) Two words: Neck pimples

1 comment:

  1. I do believe those may be the worst uniforms in all of sport. Legend has it they were designed by the owner's wife.