11.20.2011

Tony Scott, 1982 Donruss


 
Name: Tony Scott
Team: Houston Astros
Position: Outfield
Value of card: One afro's worth of jheri juice, squeezed into a rusty coffee can, left in the sun for a day
Key 1981 stat: One hairstyle trademark
Introducing ... The GreatScott®: Only the brightest fashion stars in the baseball universe can lay claim to coining their own signature hairstyle. Of course, no one can forget The Greasy Earmuffs® or The SaberMullet®, two all-time classics, but few have moved from the head to the handlebars, and no one did it better than the man they called Tony Scott, who, well, really didn't look like a "Tony Scott." This mediocre early-1980s Astros outfielder brought the world The GreatScott®, in all its shining, dripping glory. Scott took a hairstyle and facial hair and made them one. He married afro with mustache, and then introduced lambchops to the relationship, creating a menage a trois of hair that had no heir apparent. Women wanted him; Southern Civil War generals wanted to be him. His resemblance to a certain mouse could have gotten him free rides at Disneyland but, because of The GreatScott®, he could get into The Blue Oyster Bar and dance the night away. The GreatScott®, you'd have to be some kind of an Astro to walk around with this thing.
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