Shawn Boskie, 1992 Topps Stadium Club

Name: Shawn Boskie
Team: Chicago Cubs
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: A dog craps on the sidewalk; you step in it in Vans; you have to get the crap on the bottom out with a toothpick; this card is worth three toothpick scrapes of that dog crap.
Key 1991 stat: Three concurrent cases of gingivitis
Time for a happy-go-lucky pop quiz:

Why is Shawn Boskie smiling so wide?

(A) He wanted to show off all six of his teeth.
(B) He heard a joke about his mother and all the holes in his jersey.
(C) He's trying to copy the shape of his massive V-neck.
(D) He was just presented with his only honor of 1991: The Arm Hair of the Year Award.
(E) None of the above.

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