11.21.2011

Orlando Miller, 1991 Classic Best


Name: Orlando Miller
Team: Jackson Generals
Position: Shortstop
Value of card: $1 off at M&M lumber, where the lumber melts in your mouth, not in your hand
Key 1990 stat: One piece of lumber melted in mouth
Opponent's scouting report on Orlando Miller, circa spring 1991: "Has almost as much range as his left eyebrow. ... Refuses to wear team's hat, instead opting for the one he got at space camp. ... Knows all the words to Billy Joel's "Piano Man," and sings it to any runner at second base. ... Posed like a pitcher when those baseball card clowns came around, and honestly looked more natural than he does at short. ... Has the sleeves of a champion. ... He's very good at Chutes and Ladders. I lost $70. ... He's just not that good in the hole. And he's only an average shortstop."
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