Ken Griffey Jr., 1991 Score All-Star

Name: Ken Griffey Jr.
Team: Seattle Mariners
Position: Center field
Value of card: Three broken crayons
Key 1990 stat: Size 27-¾ cap
10 reasons Griffey's head is so big:
10) He knows he has the best mustache of all the eighth-graders.
9) He's proud of having baseball in his blood.
8) As a Mariner, he's a skilled seaman. (rim shot)
7) Somehow, mysteriously, his neck's mass flowed into his cranium and disappeared.
6) He had to grow it that big to fit into the only helmet the team would give him.
5) He always knew he'd be the subject of a fine work of art, again.
4) Supermodels would kill for his legs.
3) He's trying to entice the army of faceless zombies behind him by showing off his massive brain.
2) He's impressed by his own illustrated bulge.
1) Elephantiasis

1 comment:

  1. I preferred the Fleer "Pro-Visions." Those warranted un-broken crayons. Particularly the black-boarded ones from (i think) '91.