10.21.2011

Jim Breech and Jerry Rice, 1988 Topps Scoring Leaders (Football Friday No. 98)


Names: Jim Breech and Jerry Rice
Teams: Cincinnati Bengals™ and San Francisco 49ers™
Positions: Kicker and wide receiver
Value of card: 6 grains of rice
Key 1987: Lots and lots of scoring, if you know what we mean
It's time for what's sure to be a lopsided edition of The Matchup:

Round 1: Career points (Winner: Rice)
Round 2: NFL records (Winner: Rice)
Round 3: Super Bowl victories (Winner: Rice)
Round 4: Hall of Fame inductions (Winner: Rice)
Round 5: Wealth accumulated (Winner: Rice)
Round 6: Loving relationships (Winner: Rice)
Round 7: Personal satisfaction after retirement (Winner: Rice)
Round 8: Probability of living into old age (Winner: Rice)
Round 9: Size 5 shoe (Winner: Breech)

Score: Rice 8, Breech 1

Synopsis: As usual, Rice dominated the competition. He won in all the major categories, barely breaking a sweat. But the Hall of Famer couldn't win the final round, when Breech squeezed his tiny size 7 kicking foot into a size 5 shoe because he thought it gave him better accuracy to get the ball between the uprights. Speaking of getting things "between the uprights," did we mention Rice scored a lot more than Breech?

Postscript: Wow, 100 Football Fridays. To think, when Football Fridays started the Internet didn't have nearly as much crap clogging it up. It has been a long trek, but don't expect the self-serving slop to stop focusing on the big guys in pads and helmets. Hut, hut ... hurl.
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