Cortez Kennedy, 1994 Coca-Cola Monsters of the Gridiron (Halloween Week No. 8)

Name: Cortez "Tez Rex" Kennedy
Team: Seattle Screamhawks
Position: Defensive tackle
Value of card: One dead skin, shed
Key 1994 splat: 10 hours a day basking in sun
Eight days a week? Hey, it's not our fault Halloween is on a Monday this year. So break out the slutty costumes and teeth-breaking candy. Let's do this one more time.
Tez Rex by the numbers:

28: Movies appeared in
1: Unfortunate adult movies appeared in
58: Quarterbacks flattened
1,058: Cities flattened
412: Pounds — without costume
2: Tongue-looking things on gloves
Infinite: Regret after seeing this card

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