Mike LaValliere, 1990 Topps

Name: Mike "Spanky" LaValliere
Team: Pittsburgh Pirates
Position: Catcher
Value of card: The lint in Spanky's bellybutton
Key 1989 stat: 1,498 spanks
10 things you might not know about "Spanky" LaValliere:
10) His mullet's wings allowed him to fly.
9) He played most of his career blind.
8) His tongue weighed nearly 3 pounds, which prevented him from closing his mouth.
7) He slept with his mitt (like, um, in a relationship way).
6) The two sides of his mustache were interchangeable with his eyebrows.
5) His most annoying habit: He always responded, "Spank you very much."
4) He got his nickname from "The Little Rascals" — the XXX version.
3) He was the first Pirates player to own a parrot and have a peg leg.
2) His parents were French. As were his fries.
1) He lived life in a squat.

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