8.26.2011

Panthers, 1994 Coca-Cola Monsters of the Gridiron (Football Friday No. 92)


Name: Johnny Panthers
Team: Not sure
Position: Wildcat quarterback
Value of card: Six litter-box Tootsie Rolls (Wait a second, those aren't Tootsie Rolls.)
Key 1993 stat: Zero shoes
NFL scouting report on Johnny Panthers: "May be young, but his six-hair mustache looks veteran. ... Had a great workout until he got stuck up a tree. ... Seems to have a problem ripping off his pants with his fingernails. ... Plus: agility. Minus: licks himself. ... We're going to have a hard time finding a helmet to fit this cat. ... He would be our go-to guy if the league expands with the Memphis Mice team."
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