Kevin Porter, 1991 Pro Line Portraits (Pro Line Week No. 6)

Name: Kevin Porter
Team: Kansas City Chiefs
Positions: Defensive back, offensive front
Value of card: 25 cents for vending machine plastic earring
Key 1990 stat: Zero sleeves worn, 11 straight months
Conversation between Porter and Pro Line photographer, Aug. 14, 1991:
Pro Line photographer: Hey, good to meet you, Kevin. We'll do this quick.
Kevin Porter: No, no. Take your time. I want to look as fly as possible.
PLP: Sounds good. Why don't you take off that sweatsuit and get into a jersey and football pants.
KP: I have a better idea. Boo-ya!
(Porter rips off first layer of clothing to expose full spandex outfit.
PLP: Ummmmm. I wasn't expecting that. OK, you want to take some action shots?
KP: I have a better idea.
(Porter sits down, spread-eagle, busting from his spandex.)
PLP: I don't think this will work. Kids are going to be looking at this card, man.
KP: So?
PLP: So, you're exposing your junk and your outfit is ridiculous.
KP: (through tears) You take that back.
PLP: OK, OK. Your outfit is radical, dude. But let's do something about the indecent exposure case you're working on.
KP: You want me to put my hands over it? (Points to crotch.)
PLP: No. Instead, let's just make it three balls.

No comments:

Post a Comment