7.06.2011

Jeff Conine and Dale Murphy, 1994 Pinnacle The Idols


Names: Jeff Conine and Dale Murphy
Teams: Florida Marlins and Atlanta Braves
Positions: Outfield and first base, first base and outfield
Value of card: A couple of greenbacks (make that “tealbacks”)
Key 1993 stat: Two men, one pair of underwear
It’s time for a cross-era version of The Matchup:

Round 1: Months since last haircut (Winner: Murphy)
Round 2: Ability to fit through a mouse hole (Winner: Conine)
Round 3: Yellow teeth visible even in black-and-white (Winner: Murphy)
Round 4: Number of hours spent sleeping in a shoe (Winner: Conine)
Round 5: Recycled beer league jersey (Winner: Murphy)
Round 6: Outfits stolen from Ken dolls (Winner: Conine)
Round 7: Ability to crush the other’s organs like a fast-food ketchup packet (Winner: Murphy)

Score: Murphy 4, Conine 3, Ties 0

Synopsis: Jeff Conine may be small, but he had a big crush on Murphy, his idol. But Murphy didn’t care, choosing instead to physically crush the miniature Conine between his thumb and forefinger, thereby crushing it in The Matchup.
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