7.31.2011

Dan Saleaumua, 1991 Pro Line Portraits (Pro Line Week No. 7)

Name: Dan Saleaumua
Team: Kansas City Chiefs
Positions: Defensive tackle, pro wrestler
Value of card: One muscle shirt, used
Key 1991 stat: 72,919 grunts
Opponents' scouting report on Kansas City Chiefs defensive tackle Dan Saleaumua: "He went to Arizona State, so if you're going to talk smack to him, you'll have to speak slowly. ... He'll wear as many pairs of short-shorts as it takes to get the job done. ... His intensity is off the charts. Either that, or he could use a laxative. ... Once power-lifted a donkey. ... Known to keep a pork sandwich in his armbands. ... Lack of bulge is disconcerting. ... We could almost take him seriously if it wasn't for that mustache. ... Even though his heritage is Samoan, he ignored all calls to do the Humpty Hump."
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1 comment:

  1. I likes me a bitch with a fat ass!!!

    ReplyDelete