6.06.2011

Tommy John, 1988 Donruss Diamond Kings (God-Awful Diamond Kings Week No. 1)


Name: Tommy John
Team: New York Yankees
Positions: Pitcher, surgery name
Value of card: Zero diamonds
Key 1987 stat: 10 surgeries
It's that time again: Last year, we here at The Bust brought you Atrocious Diamond Kings Week. The response was so huge — we got at least a dozen hits that week — we decided to bring it back in 2011, with a bunch of not-so-fresh faces. So, grab your pine tar and get ready to smear it all over your computer screen when you see a new "god-awful" Diamond King each day this week.

10 kinds of surgery Tommy John should have gone through, as indicated by this card:
10) Life-saving surgery to remove the giant growth protruding from his neck
9) Tattoo-removal surgery to get rid of the inked-on pinstripes on his chest
8) Dental surgery to give him a few more on the left side of his mouth
7) Hat surgery, because something needs to be done about that
6) Skin surgery to give him even pigmentation, rather than the color wheel seen above
5) Brain surgery to cure the epilepsy given to anyone, including himself, who saw the rainbow behind him
4) Plastic surgery to add 11 more wrinkles to the right side of his face, to even out the sides
3) Experimental surgery to remove his tiny Siamese twin brother from his shoulder
2) Not so much a surgical operation, but more of a haircut to get rid of those hideous bangs
1) Tommy John surgery to remove him from this god-awful Diamond King
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2 comments:

  1. You should do the 1987 Greg Walker - the back basically says, "well, he was injured this year, but some day the White Sox will be good and he may be a part of it."

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  2. Tommy John? He looks more like Elton here...

    Keep up the good work Baseball Card Bust.

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