Rick Rhoden, 1987 Donruss Diamond Kings (God-Awful Diamond Kings Week No. 6)

Name: Rick Rhoden
Team: Pittsburgh Pirates
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: Something much less awesome than that hat
Key 1986 stat: 1,492 people belittled
No wimps allowed: Rick Rhoden was one tough hombre. His mustache was equal parts hair and testosterone. He could pitch through anything, even a multi-colored-hail storm, as seen on the card above. But when Rhoden wasn't striking suckers out, he was knocking the crap out of the ball. And when he wasn't knocking the crap out of the ball, he was talking smack to the team's hitters. He called Sid Bream "Sissy" Bream. His verbal abuse caused R.J. Reynolds to start smoking. And in 1986, he laced into a young Barry Bonds, telling him, "You'd better take up steroids right now if you're ever going to outhit me, you little pantywaist."
Not making this up: Rhoden actually was a good hitter. With the Yankees in 1988, he started as the team's DH in one game. He went 0-for-1 with a sacrifice fly.

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