Shawn Kemp, 1991-92 Upper Deck (NBA Playoffs Week No. 4)

Name: Shawn Kemp
Team: Seattle SuperSonics
Position: Forward (with the ladies)
Value of card: Air
Key 1990-91 stat: 62 women impregnated
Clearing up some rumors about Shawn Kemp:
  • Kemp doesn't just jump high. He is high.
  • Kemp had an easy time conceiving new dunks. He had an easier time conceiving with women.
  • Kemp was one of many pros who knew how to create. He was, however, alone in his capacity to procreate.
  • Kemp wasn't a breed all his own. His breed was common after he bred so many times.
  • Kemp didn't wear short-shorts. That's a large green jock strap, baby.
  • Kemp didn't have thousands of young fans cheering for him at games. Those were his kids pleading for child-support payments.


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