Noah Jackson, 1979 Topps (Football Friday No. 83)

Name: Noah Jackson
Team: Chicago Bears
Positions: Guard, ark builder
Value of card: The gristle and fat left over from Jackson's mid-afternoon steak
Key 1978 stat: One male, one female of each species, two by two
10 things on Noah Jackson's ark:
10) Two elephants with heads the same size as Noah's
9) Giant, sweaty, hairy men, two by two
8) 11 bears on offense, 11 on defense
7) Type 2 diabetes
6) The Oscar Meyer Weinermobile
5) Two giant pandas, two woodpeckers, one steamy night, one bad joke
4) One flat top. Just one.
3) One female grizzly bear, one Noah Jackson
2) A dove and an olive branch (tangled in Noah's beard)
1) After dinner, three fewer species

Card submitted by Fat Shawn Kemp

1 comment:

  1. The ark was also filled with 2x2s from In n Out, I'd bet.