Max Venable, 1987 Topps

(Superhero) Name: Max Venable
Team: Cincinnati Reds
Position: Outfield
Value of card: Max value (3 cents)
Key 1986 stat: Zero dates
Max Venable's dating profile, circa 1987:

Screen name: MadMax69
Age: I'll whisper it in yo' ear
Height: Taller with this hat on
Weight: Half in da butt
Hair color: Dope
Hairstyle: See above
Ethnicity: Reds
Religious views: Sexual Tiger Roar
Want children? Not out of my lady's goods
Marital status: No ring, but bling-bling
Best feature: Ladies love the pencil-thin 'stache
Smoke? Foo's
Drink? Foreva

Seeking: To take it to the max with a tender young 'roni
Location: In da butt
Her body type: Bangin'
Her ethnicity: Whatever it takes to get in those draw's

About me: You need to know: I take it to the max. My muscles? Max. Also, the Venable is venerable. Little babies, look at these glasses. Imagine how I see you, draped in the finest furs, sipping sparkling wine from a box, kissing the wind. I'll take you to the field, host picnics and other crap like that. I'll even let you try on my lucky wristbands. You just have to agree to one thing: Tell me you're ready to Max out — and in. And out. And in again. Yeah, baby.


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