John Turner, 1991-92 Upper Deck NBA Draft (NBA Playoffs Week No. 7)

Name: John Turner
Team: Houston Rockets
Position: Forward
Value of card: One free suit rental at Casual Male XL
Key 1990-91 stat: Zero suits worn before this one
Rockets' scouting report on first-round pick John Turner's suit: "The burnt-orange color makes a wearer of this size look like the Looney Tunes monster. ... If the sleeves are too long on a 7-footer, they're just too goddamn long. ... Where's the tie knot? It's obscured by the massive lack of fashion sense. ... The black tie would look better without the vomit all over it. ... If only the lapels were more exaggerated, this suit might stand out. ... No pants? No problem."


1 comment:

  1. Portland would go on to draft John Turner almost 15 years later, after he had legally changed his name to Greg Oden.