5.11.2011

Jerry Garvin, 1980 Topps

Name: Jerry Garvin
Team: Toronto Blue Jays
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: One curly blond hair of indeterminate origin
Key 1979 stat: 472,089 steps sat on
Play that funky music white boy: It's pretty obvious Jerry Garvin is a towhead. But just how white is he?
  • Jerry Garvin's so white, he's his own night light.
  • He's so white, when he wasn't pitching, he was being used as third base.
  • He's so white, he got a sunburn standing in front of the TV
  • He's so white, he blinded half the locker room when he took off his shirt.
  • He's so white, he couldn't even jump to a conclusion.
  • He's so white, that's not a bandage on his middle finger, the finger's just swollen.
  • Jerry Garvin's so white, Canadians urged him to get a tan.

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