4.01.2011

Willie Randolph, 1991 Studio (Studio Saturday No. 9)

Name: Willie Randolph
Team: Milwaukee Brewers
Position: Second base
Value of card: Who cares? Get out of here!
Key 1990 stat: Run!
Conversation between Studio photographer and Willie Randolph, Feb. 13, 1991:
Studio photographer: Hey, Willie. Good to meet you. Thanks for stopping by.
Willie Randolph: Hey, no problem. It's great to be here. I love calm sessions like this.
SP: Good to hear. We'll have some fun. Trust me.
WR: Ha. No problem. I'm all smiles, as always.
SP: OK. Just sit right there. Smile, and ... Hey, is that Ricardo Montalban from "Naked Gun"? Why is he turning that dial? (Randolph lifts bat above head and slowly walks toward photographer.) Willie? Willie? Willie! Put down the bat!
WR: Must ... kill ... the ... queen. Must ... kill ... the ... queen.
(Studio assistants tackle Montalban, retwist dial. Randolph sits down, drops bat.)
SP: What the ...
WR: Why am I wearing these Reggie Jackson glasses?
SP: It's OK, Willie. (wipes brow) No problem. Take them off and let's finish this shoot.
WR: Hey, I'm all smiles. Let's do this.
SP: Wait, Willie. Willie. Put down the bat. Wait, why is your skin peeling and turning green? Why are your eyes sinking into your head?
WR: Brrrrrrraaaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnnssssssss!

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