Team: Chicago Cubs
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: One elastic waistband
Key 1980 stat: Seven pennies shoved up nose
Things that can be seen inside Doug Capilla's right nostril:
- Enough nose hair to knit a sock
- Vaseline, to help the curve ball
- The beginning of the universe
- The beginning of that mustache
- Gold
- The Cubs' World Series chances
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