6.27.2011

Andre Agassi, 1991 NetPro (Wimbledon Week No. 1)


Name: Andre Agassi
Country: United States
Value of card: 3 square inches of spandex, no more
Key 1990 stat: 67-inch mullet
Welcome to Wimbledon Week: The grass at the All England Club is green, the balls are out, the forehands are coming overhand and Dick Enberg is slurring about service and love somewhere. This can mean only one thing: It's Wimbledon Week on The Bust. For one tortuous, tennis-filled week, we'll look at some the best and worst of the early 1990s. Expect a lot of faults.
You can't spell "Agassi" without "ass": Just who did this fancy-pants toolbox think he was? What's brighter: the neon on the racquet or the neon in his wig? It must be a wig, because why else would this guy wear a secondhand tuxedo cummerbund around his head? It's nice, though, that his obnoxious pink headband matches his obnoxious pink T-shirt and his obnoxious pink spandex shorts. He wouldn't want anyone to think he was putting fashion ahead of tennis. The leather-band watch is a nice touch. It really goes well with the rest of the sporty outfit. The one thing Agassi was missing in 1991? A beard. Boom.
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