Mike Morgan, 1986 Topps

Name: Mike Morgan
Team: Seattle Mariners
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: Bulldog eye wrinkle goop
Key 1985 stat: 1,786 hours standing suggestively
So, just what does Mike Morgan stand for?

Manly figure, for a ballet dancer
Ice in his veins; tears in his heart
Kingdome was alive with show tunes when he was on the mound
Ever seen baseball pants so smooth?

Mesh hat for style's sake
Overly sexualized pitching windup
Rear always stuck out for the ladies
Gay men said he could throw them balls anytime
A(nother bad homoerotic joke goes here)
Never mind the backside; wait until you see the front


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