3.24.2011

Ed Newman, 1984 Topps All Pro (Football Friday No. 75)

Name: Ed Newman
Team: Miami Dolphins
Position: Guard
Value of card: A series of rumbling stomach cramps
Key 1984 stat: 170 treatments for irritable bowel syndrome
It's a painful pop quiz:

What's got Ed Newman doubled over, grimacing in agony?

A) The $4.99 Seafood Special burrito he forgot in his car but didn't want to waste.
B) Listening to Don Shula gush over Dan Marino for the 400th straight day.
C) Getting kicked in the "red zone" by Reggie Roby as punishment for giving up a sack.
D) A kidney stone the size of Mark Clayton's sunglasses.
E) Not sure, but it looks like he's about to make a splash into the Bust Cup.
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