2.21.2011

Mark Eaton, 1991-92 Upper Deck (White Ballers Week No. 2)

Name: Mark Eaton
Team: Utah Jazz
Position: White center
Value of card: One clump of armpit hair
Key 1990-91 stat: Shorts ending 2 feet above the knee
The natural: Mark Eaton is a white baller's white baller. He has it all. Member of the perennially whitest team in the NBA? Check. Pasty white thighs barely covered by short-shorts? Check. Seven minutes of mop-up playing time a game? Check. Knee brace? Check. But Eaton had one thing that separated him from most white ballers. A badass beard usually reserved for athletes in other sports. Combining the beard with all Eaton's other attributes makes the Jazz center the whitest baller of 1991-92, which shouldn't be confused with any legitimate honor based on skill.

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